


Snap Out Of It

by Galindrael



Series: A Very Dragon Age Christmas [25]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: BUT NOW I'M NEARLY DONE WITH UNI, DECFANFIC, Day 25, Established Relationship, F/M, I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG, This is not as good as I would have liked but w/e
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 13:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6568363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galindrael/pseuds/Galindrael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New suspicion and a situation that might be beneficial or harmful in retrospect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snap Out Of It

 

It was the smell that woke him up; harsh and vibrant it stirred him awake. Immediately he tried to sit up but could not. Even with all his strength he could not lift himself off what appeared to be a make-shift torture rack. With his wrists and ankles neatly restrained, he had to improvise. His nightclothes were still on, so this particular person had no interest in him sexually, thank the Maker.  _ Perhaps a man then?  _ Although, that never did persuade them otherwise; it was never about sex, but power then.  There was a basin to his left and towels… _ clean towels? _ Cullen again tried his best to struggle against his restraints but there was a damned near drumming in his head and an intense pain in his shoulder.  _ New wound. Perhaps I struggled. _  Behind him he heard the tell-tale hiss of a boiling pot and the door just out of sight opened.

“Whoever you are, whatever you wish, I will not yield,” Cullen bit out.

“Cullen,” the voice was soft, sweet to him.

“How do you know my name?” Cullen tried to turn, to see his would-be torturer.

“I’m not here to hurt you, I’m trying to help you,” she softly said before a long-drawn sigh escaped her.

Cullen stiffened when he heard the water now being poured, and he tensed, waiting for the searing heat to cover him, but nothing. Frantically he tried to reassess his surroundings. No visible windows, no weapons, no guard shuffling out of site.  _ If I could just manage to- _ Now he heard water splashing back, into a basin and he froze.  _ How is that water not burning her- _ **_mage_ ** . That made sense, mages  needed no weapons to be dangerous. Mages needed nothing to-

He stiffened when a cool cloth touched his forehead, wiping away the sweat on his brow.

“Wh-what are you doing”? He looked up now and he could see her face.  _ Maker, she’s beautiful. _ She shot her eyes to his and he damned near melted; they were soft, caring, and warm. 

“I’m keeping your fever down,” she said and repeated the gesture on the other side of his face.

“Why even bother,” he huffed but when he inhaled he smelled her. Not her perfume,  _ her. _ She smelled like his cravings. She smelled like a favourite dessert.  She didn’t answer but she reached down to his shirt and he panicked.

“ _ Keep your hands off me” _ he snapped.

“I’m cleaning your wound, if you’d rather it get infected, I can leave it,” she bit back but all the while brought over supplies.

“Why don’t you just use your  _ magic _ ,” he hissed and she looked at him with an arched brow.

“Oh, maybe because  I’m not a mage,” she replied, and sat down next to him.

 

That’s when he first saw it. She was round with child and he felt something he did not expect; the urge to protect. Cullen tensed at the thought and watched her again, wondering how this woman who was bringing life into the world most likely about to slash his throat. A loud knock and a bearded man entered.

“Lady Rutherford, we have the,” Cullen sucked in a breath and the man turned to see Cullen’s reaction,”Oh, balls, I thought he was still- here,” he handed her a phial and left as quick as possible.

“ _ Lady Rutherford _ ,” he whispered and nodded to her stomach, “Branson finally managed to-” he was cut off.

“ _ Branson _ did no such thing,” Cullen could feel his face blanch as the wheels turned in his head.

“You’re-,” he stuttered out, “Th-that’s not possible, I,” again, he was cut off.

“It is possible, obviously,” her eyebrows quirked up as she began mixing the contents of the phial into something and Cullen felt a pang of guilt;  _ How could I?Maker’s breath has lyrium steered me that far? _

“…Does….” Cullen reconsider but she had heard his pitiful whisper, “Does he know?”

“What?” Her brows furthered even further before she pinched the bridge of her nose and just went to untie his wrists.

“Maker, he does know…” she handed him a cup of tea.

“Sit up and drink,” he slowly sat up then sipped and nearly coughed it back up.

“That’s disgusting,” he looked to her.

“It’s to combat lyrium poison,  _ drink  _ **_now_ ** ,” she crossed her arms and he did as told, his mind racing now with the thought of lyrium poison.

 

When he was finished she harshly sat the cup down and began to walk away.

“Wait,” he lightly grabbed her wrist, the guilt and concern had already festered and his thoughts were racing at the emotions that were bursting to the surface, “Have I done something to upset you?” he stroked his thumb across her hand and a memory of times when he had done it before coming back to him.

“ _ Have I done some-”  _ she inhaled through her nose and out of her mouth, “Not only did you try to kill me, but you have accused me of infidelity  _ twice,” _ she huffed and paced and Cullen felt his heart lurch up, “I  _ know _ it’s not your fault but it hurts,” Cullen immediately started untying his ankles and instinctively came up  from behind to hold her to him, trying to remember the actions she described. Everything was foggy, distant even. But he knew holding her was the right thing to do.

When his hand wrapped around her waist she spun around to face him and he knew he had loved her, clarity of the potion clawing through him already; memories of laughter, ice-skating, ribbons and late night chess games and the realization that hit him the hardest “I love you,” he stated as fact, not a declaration necessarily. 

“And I love you,  so very much,” she touched his face and when he returned the gesture he saw a wedding ring on his finger. He shot a look to her then back to his hand. A wedding,  _ his _ wedding flashing in his mind. He remembered carrying her past the threshold of a door. He remembered running his hands over her, he remembered that they had made love all night and then he remembered hearing the news that the child inside of her was his. His face must have been so easy to read as she placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth and he pulled her into him. He inhaled the scent of her hair and just started to sob.  _ How could I forget this? How could I forget her? My child? Maker how  _ **_could_ ** _ I?! _

“I love you,” he kissed her temple, “I love you. I love you,” he exhaled in desperate shutters, “I love you so much, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for everything I’ve,” she stopped him with a kiss.

As much as he wanted to continue he could not from his inability to breath or calm down. He turned and as had done so many times, he planted his hands on the table and tried to suck in in enough air to just  _ breathe _ .  _ Scáthach Trevelyan. Herald of Andraste. Hero of the People. Inquisitor. Mother to be...  _ **_Wife_ ** _. _  He slowly sank into a squat and placed his hands on the back of his neck, “I’m so sorry, Scáthach, I don’t- Can you forgive me?”

She placed a hand between his shoulder and traced small circles there, “It’s not your fault,”

“Of course it is,” he snapped in a harsher tone than intended.

“No, it was not,” she said firmly, “Someone placed red lyrium in our room….in your glove,” she picked up his right hand and turned it to him, “That’s where you got the burn on your ring finger,” and there it was, a bright red scar about the width of a ring.

“How did…” Cullen felt the skin, ran a finger over the scar and felt the roughness and he scowled; it felt like stone.

“That’s what we’re trying to find out”.

 

\----

When Cullen was well enough to remember what transpired and his blood was clear of the lyrium, Scathach called the meeting.

“Inquisitor, I have a list of all of our members,” Leliana handed a list of each member of the Inquisition all starred and sorted about how much they did or did not know.

Cullen was wrapped in a blanket, shivering, from the left over lyrium in his blood and worry upon his face. He hadn’t slept the night before. He was too worried about his wife. He was too worried he would do something if he fell asleep, Scathach had said everyone knew that he had been poisoned. That everyone forgave him. But he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Cullen  interrupted the ladies who were engrossed in their investigation, “ I need to apologize for what happened,” Josephine and Leliana both started to respond but he cut them off once more, “No. This...person, whoever did this knew how I would react to the mirror.  After we went back to sleep I dreamt of-,” Scathach cut him off.

“Cullen, you don’t need to,” she placed one hand on his arm while the other sat on top of the swell of her stomach.

“I know,” he smiled reassuringly at her, then looked back to the other advisors, “ I think that it was more than just red lyrium. I think magic was involved. The dream I had...the one that set everything off was a desire demon. It had her face, it showed me things that it shouldn’t have known so well for such a brief meeting,” Cullen sighed, trying to formulate how he was going to tell them but the more he spoke of it the more it replayed in his mind. He blinked and the room was not how he knew it to be. It was dark and everything twisted in ways that made his skin crawl.  His instinct was to grasp the hilt of his sword which wasn’t there but thankfully Josephine spoke and snapped him back.

“What did you mean by such a brief meeting?”

Cullen cleared his throat, “When  desire demons first...tempt you, it’s superficial. Like skimming the chapter titles in a book; it’ll go for the basics: greed, anger, love, lust,” he looked to his wife quickly then down to his feet, “...jealousy. It starts with recent events and works backwards to the root of your desires but this one. It combined them...It already knew I had no interest in greed. I was never tempted with finery. Never tempted to murder someone I hated.  It immediately went to Kinloch. And worked from there. But that’s what worried me the most… I don’t think myself as a jealous man, maybe in the beginning when I was unsure of myself, but I  _ know _ my wife would never be unfaithful...yet I believed it. I think it because I had no lyrium in my body I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t push the thoughts out of my head. I think this was the desire demon from Kinloch,” Maker, you could hear a pin drop now, “I think someone found it and brought it back”.

“Why,” Josephine whispered.

“Someone must really have it out for you, Commander. To go to those lengths is genuine hate,” Leliana looked stoic but the wheels in her head were already turning.

“You have a plan,” Scathach said and Leliana just smiled.

“Sort of,” Leliana continued, “But we need to figure out how this is connected first,” Leliana stood next to Josephine now, looking at her expectantly.

“Commander,” Josephine said firmly, “I think it’s best if you rest for awhile. Alone,” Cullen looked to Scathach, then to her belly, and he nodded, “I will have a select number of guards, one’s Leliana’s vetted already. The Iron Bull volunteered to be stationed outside Scathach’s room until you are able to return and Dorian offered to sleep on the couch in the room to ensure no one gets in,” Josie offered.

“Cullen, are you sure,” Scathach spoke softly.

“Yes, I don’t want to put you….or our child in danger. I need to ensure that I am safe to be around you,” he came up to her, placed his head on hers and kissed her softly before he pulled back, “I’ll go collect the essentials and  I think I’ll head to bed early,” he huffed in defeat, shoulder slumped.

“First, Commander,” Josie spoke up, “I would like you to see our healer once more”.

“Josie, I’m-,” he was cut off.

“No buts, Commander, we want to ensure that you are not poisoned and that you go into your office as healthy as possible”. 

\---

Cullen got into the bed in his loft shortly after, keenly aware of the guards placed not only outside his office, but Cassandra downstairs reading quietly in her make-shift cot. Knowing both he and his wife were surrounded by their close friends made drifting off slightly easier, and the potions that helped him “sleep as the dwarves do” cut him off entirely from the fade for the night and ensured a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Still listening to Arctic Monkeys ;] Your author's nearly done with her degree! Like getting into single digits nearly done! I apologize if I missed something when I was editing but I've been writing giant research papers for the last few weeks and am a bit burned out. 
> 
> I have been simultaneously working on some other things for the DA fandom but due to how this has been going I decided I would have it mostly completed first and then start posting it weekly. One is a political thriller and another is, essentially a Werewolf/Avaar AU! The werewolf/Avaar one is about 15 pages and the political one is much more fleshed out at around 30 pages. So, hello, I'm glad to be back!


End file.
